Radio Randomness
by Malley
Summary: Random little one-shots about the team inspired by the funny and/or crazy DJ's I listen to on the radio.
1. Hug it Out

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters. **Nope, not even after all of these stories...

**A/N: **Okay, well the DJ's on the radio station I listen to are definitely an interesting bunch. The morning show guys certainly make the drive to school a lot more enjoyable, especially when I can see the Mentalist crew having similar conversations! This is going to be a multi-chapter fic full of one-shots based off of the random and funny stuff I hear off of the radio. I will give the conversation that inspired me, followed by the story I came up with. I have no idea when I will post more, as it all depends on what I hear...also school and work permitting of course...

_**From the Radio...  
**"How about we hug it out?"  
"No."  
"Hug?"  
"No."  
"What if we hug through our friend Jamie? I'll hug him, then he'll hug you..."  
"No, I'm not the hugging type...But you can still hug Jamie if you'd like to..."_

_

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_

**Radio Randomness  
**_Chapter 1- Hug it Out_

_Today certainly was eventful,_ Jane reflected as he drove back to the CBI in his powder blue Citröen. The team had managed to solve the case, but not after a certain amount of prodding to get the Domino effect started. And he, of course, was the perfect person to get the ball rolling. But what Jane considered a good idea and what Lisbon considered a good idea were two completely different concepts. He was hoping that Lisbon wouldn't be too furious with him, since he did solve the case after all, but based on the amount of extra paperwork and stress he had caused her, Jane could already visualize the impending-doom-of-Lisbon awaiting him back at the CBI.

…And waiting for him it was. Lisbon had been standing impatiently for Jane by his couch. As soon as Jane stepped out of the elevator and on to the Serious Crimes Unit floor, Lisbon told him sternly:

"Jane. My office. NOW."

"Hold on Lisbon. Can't we discuss this first?" Jane asked.

"What's there to discuss? You pissed off a witness, who threatened your job and your life. Then, you nearly got that same witness killed. AND you left me in the middle of nowhere while you took the car in order to nearly lead that witness to his death!" Lisbon stated, folding her arms across her chest. "Need I continue?"

"But we did solve the case." Jane pointed out.

"Don't even start Jane." Lisbon said, cutting him off before he could continue.

"Okay, but you need to calm down first. This much stress is not good."

"Says the culprit of the stress."

"Let's hug it out."

Lisbon just stared at him.

"No."

Jane spread his arms out.

"Hug?"

"NO."

"What if I hug you through Cho? I'll hug him, then he'll hug you…"Jane suggested.

"No."

"Van Pelt?"

"No."

"Rigsby?"

Lisbon looked at Rigsby who, like the rest of the team, had been watching the Jisbon spectacle. However, unlike Cho and Van Pelt, Rigsby had a napkin tucked into his collar-as a bib-while he ate tacos from the taco van from under the bridge near the sewage ditch.

"No, I'm not going to hug you." Lisbon replied. "But you can still hug Rigsby if you'd like."

Jane frowned. He had no intention of going anywhere near Rigsby's sewer-tacos if he had the option. So, Jane just turned and slowly followed Lisbon to her office-of-certain-death. Hey, it had been worth a shot…

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Thanks for reading! Reviews are most appreciated!

Next Chapter: Surprise Attack!


	2. Surprise Attack

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters**...Sadly, still not mine...

**A/N: **This chapter contains a minor spoiler concering the Rigsby/Van Pelt/O' Laughlin triangle. If you don't know what happen this season and wish to remain spoiler free, then please go back to chapter 1 and read it again until you see the episode in which this is revealed :) Otherwise, on to the story *triumphant music*!

_**From the Radio...  
**__"Did I just say [I forgot what he said XD]? I can't believe I just said [Still can't remember...]! Please punch me in the face."  
"I'm not going to punch you. I'd rather wait until later and surprise you!"_

___

* * *

_

**Radio Randomness  
**_Chapter 2- Surprise Attack_

Rigsby walked slowly into the bullpen, heading straight for his desk. He sat down and immediately placed his head in his hands.

"What's the matter with you?" Cho asked without taking his eyes off of the paperwork in front of him.

Rigsby lifted his head and quickly surveyed the room for any sign of Van Pelt's presence. The coast clear, Rigsby mumbled:

"O'Laughlin proposed to Van Pelt. And I said congratulations when she told me."

Rigsby sat straight up and looked at Cho.

"Did I really just say congratulations? I can't believe I just said congratulations! Cho, please punch me in the face, slap me upside the head or something."

"No, I wouldn't do that." Cho replied. "Right now, you'd know it's coming. I'd rather wait until later and surprise you."

Rigsby smiled to himself ever so slightly. No business like Cho business…

_Two Days Later…_

Rigsby was sitting at his desk, finishing up the last report for Lisbon from their latest case. As he signed his name to the bottom of the sheet, he suddenly felt a hand collide with the back of his head. Rigsby immediately looked up and saw Cho standing next to him.

"Surprise." was all Cho said before turning and heading toward the elevator door.

Rigsby laughed and shook his head, Cho had been right; he certainly hadn't been expecting that surprise attack…

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Thanks to my sister who told (made) me to write the epilogue, where Cho keeps his word and surprises Rigsby!

More to follow (hopefully) soon!


	3. Do You Wanna Dance?

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.** I just like to make them do funny things :)

**A/N:** Hooray! I'm back! I've had this chapter and the next chapter queued up to be written for weeks now, but my school and work schedule told me otherwise :) However, school's ending, so I should have more time to write. So, to make up for neglecting all of you lovely readers, I present to you two more chapters inspired by my crazy radio DJ's. Enjoy!

**_From the Radio...  
_**_"It's such a great day to be alive...I feel like dancing!"  
"I'm not dancing...You can dance by yourself..."_

A missing scene from 2x09, A Price Above Rubies, right after Jane finished his speech on stage at the CBI fundraiser...

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 3- Do You Wanna Dance?_

Jane came down from the stage, a bright and confident smile on his face. He had managed to convince all of the attending bigwigs to pull out their pocket books and donate to the CBI, all while scaring Lisbon to high heaven with his speech. He had accomplished a lot and was feeling pretty good. How could he not, among the glitz and glam of the fancy CBI fundraiser? Also, Lisbon was in a dress. Teresa Lisbon, a dress. That made for a fun evening in itself.

He spotted her standing off to the side of the dance floor with Cho. Jane grabbed a glass of champagne for himself and for Lisbon before heading over to join her and Cho. Of course she brought up the fact that he scared her half to death when he started his speech, but he coolly explained that the hearts of the bigwig sponsors could be found in their pocket books and he knew just how to tug on their heart strings, and that everything worked out in the end. Despite this, Lisbon was still smiling brightly at him, causing him to smile even more. Cho just smiled as much as possible for him.

"It's such a great evening!" Jane declared. "I feel like dancing!"

He turned to Lisbon and looked at her expectantly. When she realized that he was serious in his suggestion, Lisbon replied:

"I'm not dancing. You can dance by yourself if you want."

"Oh come on Lisbon. You're partying among millionaires and you look absolutely radiant in that dress." Jane said, causing Lisbon to blush. "Enjoy yourself!"

"Thank-you Jane, but I'll pass."

Jane took a sip of his champagne and then smirked at her. Time for him to work his magic again…

…Anderson from Organized Crime had a bit of a crush on Lisbon and Jane was well aware of this fact. Jane also knew that Lisbon certainly did not reciprocate his feelings and, as she has clearly explained to numerous date invitations, Anderson was not her type. Anderson though, was related to one of the sponsors. So, Jane told Anderson to ask Lisbon to dance and remind of her that little tidbit. There was no way for her to say no. Jane then could become her knight in shining armor…

…Jane watched Lisbon dance uncomfortably with Anderson, a devious smile plastered across his face. Jane decided that he had made Lisbon suffer enough, so he headed out to the dance floor to rescue her. He tapped Anderson on the shoulder and Anderson turned around to face him.

"May I cut in?" Jane asked.

Anderson looked back at Lisbon, who nodded rapidly.

"I suppose." Anderson said as he stepped out of the way. "I'll see you later Teresa."

Lisbon forced herself to smile until Anderson was out of sight. _More than Words_ by Extreme then began to emanate across the dance floor.

"Shall we?" Jane asked, offering her his hand.

Lisbon accepted his hand and placed her other hand on his shoulder as he placed his free hand around her waist. After a few moments of silently dancing together, Lisbon finally broke the silence:

"You made Anderson dance with me, didn't you?"

"Me?"

"Yes you."

Jane just smiled at her.

"I had to get you to dance with me somehow."

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"Only when it concerns you, my dear."

Lisbon laughed and shook her head. Jane could only smile brighter…

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Next Chapter: Can Rigsby Eat It?


	4. Can Rigsby Eat It?

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.** Sadly no...

_**From the Radio...**  
There really was no conversation for this one, since there really was little talking that occurred. One announcer stated that it's time to play another round of "Can Jamie Eat It?" He then explained that Jamie would be trying to eat a bowl of prunes. The only things I could hear when they presented Jamie the bowl was Jamie gagging and the two announcers falling out of their chairs with laughter._

No offense to anyone who likes prunes, but I couldn't think of anything else that came in a package that Rigsby could dislike. So, I just left it as is :)

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 4- Can Rigsby Eat It?_

Rigsby, Cho and Van Pelt were on stakeout duty and bored out of their minds. The suspect obviously wasn't planning on leaving his house anytime soon, so they were trying to find ways to entertain themselves to pass the time. Cho began rereading the book he had just finished moments ago. Van Pelt was fiddling with her laptop. Rigsby was rummaging through the car, searching for any snacks he could find.

"It's no use." Cho commented to Rigsby. "You cleaned us out about an hour ago."

Rigsby continued digging through the compartment of the armrest.

"I thought I saw something else in here…"he mumbled as he pulled out a snack package and held it out triumphantly to Cho. "See I knew it!"

Rigsby then examined the buried treasure that he had just uncovered and frowned.

"A package of prunes?" he whined. "Who brought prunes?"

"I did." Van Pelt said. "It's healthy and nutritious snacking as compared to the stuff you usually bring along."

Rigsby just looked at the package of prunes in horror.

"I'll buy you stuff at the convenient store if you eat at least one of those prunes." Cho challenged without looking up from his book.

Rigsby shrugged. He really never was one to pass up a challenge. He opened the wrapper of one of the prunes and immediately started gagging. Van Pelt rolled her eyes and Cho smiled (internally, at least). For the next few minutes, every time Rigsby brought a prune to his mouth, he began to gag. Again.

Cho's cell phone began to ring (though he could barely hear it over Rigsby's digestive resistance to the prunes).

"Cho." he answered to the call.

"Cho, it's Lisbon." Lisbon replied over the phone. "Any updates from the stakeout? And what's that noise?"

Cho glanced over at Rigsby, who was still fighting with the food.

"The suspect hasn't done anything interesting the past few hours." Cho explained. "And that noise is just another episode of 'Can Rigsby Eat It?'."

Lisbon chuckled.

"I take it the food's winning?"

"For sure."

"If he pukes, he can pay to have the car cleaned." she joked, though soundly oddly serious at the same time.

"Don't worry. He can't even get it to his mouth without gagging."

"Okay. Have fun."

Cho ended his phone call and glanced over at Rigsby again. Apparently, he managed to get one prune to his lips…but to no avail. Cho really didn't know which was worse; Rigsby puking or dealing with the wrath of Lisbon afterward…


	5. Girl Stuff

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.**

_*****SPOILER ALERT*****_  
If you are unaware of the status of the Van Pelt/O'Laughlin story line, if you want to remain spoiler free, please go reread the other chapters until you know what happens!

**A/N**: Can't believe the season 3 finale is just around the corner! Now I did some research since I can't help myself and the episode(s) sound fantastic! Red John! Most importantly, Lisbon in a pink bridesmaids dress... :) I found pictures and they are quite comical...Lisbon looks quite annoyed that she has to wear the pink dress with the giant bow on it too!

**_From the Radio...  
_**_"My best friend is coming to town and we're going to do girl stuff! I know you're all like 'what? KK knows how to do girl stuff?'"_

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 5- Girl Stuff_

Van Pelt checked her watch. It was nearly time to head to the airport to pick up her cousin Yolanda, who was flying to Sacramento for the weekend to help Grace with wedding stuff. They were planning on getting the stuff concerning her bridesmaids done this weekend. Van Pelt also managed to convince Lisbon to come along on their outing, dress shopping and shopping in general, since Lisbon was one of Grace's bridesmaids.

She stood up after logging off her computer and began packing up her things so she could head out for the weekend. Rigsby and Cho then returned to the bullpen carrying huge containers of soda, after apparently having stopped at a nearby convenient store.

"Where are you off to so early?" Rigsby asked as he plopped himself down in his desk chair.

"My cousin is flying into town tonight and I'm going to pick her up from the airport. We're going to meet up with Lisbon and then we're off to do girl stuff for the wedding." Van Pelt explained.

"Girl stuff?" Rigsby asked, clearly confused.

"You know, shopping, dinner, and stuff like that. We're going to try and get my bridesmaid dresses done this weekend."

"Oh. I just didn't know that Lisbon knew how to do girl stuff."

As Rigsby finished his statement, Lisbon entered the bullpen. SInce, he was turned to face Van Pelt, he did not see that she had entered, not was he aware of the fact that she had heard his comment.

"Then what do you think I am? A goose?" Lisbon joked from behind Rigsby.

Rigsby had taken a sip of his soda and nearly choked on it when he heard Lisbon's voice from behind him. He whirled around to face her and quickly said:

"Sorry Boss. I-"

Lisbon waved him off.

"Don't be. I had no idea what Van Pelt meant by 'girl stuff' when she asked me last weekend to join her and her cousin." Lisbon commented.

A relieved smile crossed Rigsby's face.

"Well, are you ready?" Van Pelt asked Lisbon.

"Sure." she replied.

Lisbon then followed Van Pelt out of the office to meet up with Yolanda…

…After grabbing some dinner, Lisbon, Van Pelt and Yolanda headed out to the dress shop to see Grace's wedding dress and then work on her bridesmaid dresses. Yolanda volunteered to be the model for the dress, so she went to change while Van Pelt and Lisbon waited.

Lisbon was anxiously awaiting the potential horrors she could possibly be witnessing in moments. She'd seen the previews for _27 Dresses_ and was pretty sure she'd end up on the FBI's 10 most wanted list for her body count after shooting everyone who laughed, commented or even stared at her for wearing one of those monstrosities. But then again, Van Pelt was one of her closest friends, and a part of a team that was equivalent to her family. She was willing to put her life on the line everyday for them, so she guessed she was willing to put her dignity on the line as well and wear whatever Van Pelt chose. The only thing that Lisbon hoped (prayed) for was that the dress wasn't-

"Pink!" Lisbon exclaimed immediately Yolanda walked out in the bridesmaid dress.

Her worst fears of wearing a fluffy pink bridesmaid dress with a giant bow had just been realized. And with the pink dress being paraded around in front of her, any dignity Lisbon thought she had left, suddenly vanished…

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Please read and review! If you'd like more chapters, please review!


	6. Utter Disappointment

**Disclaimer:****I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.**

**A/N**: For those who don't know, I am a huge hockey fanatic. I love watching games, no matter who's playing. So, when I heard the announcers talking about this the morning after a team was eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs, I knew I had to write this one. Plus, it reminds me of my favorite team :) I'm not going to use the real teams that the announcers were referring to, as I don't want to upset anyone!

_**From the Radio...**__  
_"The [team that was eliminated] are a borderline good team, which gives people hope. The [other team from the land of my radio station], we know they're a bad team, so we get our disappointments over with early in the season!"

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 6- Utter Disappointment_

_Today is certainly interesting…_Jane mused while he lounged on his couch, drinking his tea. The team just closed a high profile case and received praise from LaRoche for doing so so quickly. Jane hadn't gotten in trouble, so Lisbon didn't have any extra paperwork to fill out either. Overall, it was a good and solid case. The strange part was that Lisbon and Rigsby appeared to be utterly depressed. And what was worse was that Jane had absolutely no idea as to what could possibly be plaguing the two agents.

Cho entered the bullpen and took a seat at his desk. If anyone else would know what the deal was with Lisbon and Rigsby, it would certainly be Cho.

"Hey Cho." Jane greeted.

"Jane." Cho answered.

"Just curious, but do Rigsby and Lisbon seem in a bit of a funk today?"

"It doesn't seem that way." Cho replied. "They _are_ that way."

"And I take it that you know why they're that way?"

"Their favorite team got knocked out of the Stanley Cup Playoffs last night." Cho told Jane.

"Ah." Jane nodded in understanding. "What about your team?"

"They didn't even make the post season this year. Lisbon's and Rigsby's team is a borderline good team, which gives people hope. My favorite team, I know they're a bad team, so I get my disappointment over with early in the season." Cho explained.

"But that's what being a fan is about though, isn't it? Supporting your team through thick and thin?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to win once in a while."

True, so very true…

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Please read and review...This is the last chapter that I have queued up to be written for Radio Randomness...let me know if you want more, otherwise this is the last chapter :(


	7. Frenemies

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters**. Sadly, I still do not...

**A/N:** Okay, this next one is one of my favorites. It actually is not from my usual radio station. Instead it is from one of my favorite hockey players. Once a week during the regular hockey season, he is the guest on the morning program for about a half hour to an hour. So, since hockey season officially ends today, with Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals, this quote is obviously from a lot earlier in the year (from about March or earlier). I just absolutely love this quote because I think it is quite comical :) I'm happy I was able to come up with a scenario to use this quote in. I never planned on using it, but I couldn't resist.

**_From the Radio...  
_**_The announcers were asking my favorite player about some of the players on another team. There is one particular player on the other team that is disliked by our team. Nothing personal, just playing and game history:)_

_(Announcer)"What would happen if [player] was to join the [team]?"  
(My favorite player)"I guess we'd have to learn to be friends then, huh?"  
_

This story takes place in the aftermath of 2x06, but before 2x07.

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 7- Frenemies_

Lisbon walked through the bullpen, en route to Jane's couch. As annoyed as she was at Jane for giving Bosco a reason to arrest him, Lisbon was grateful that Bosco did drop the charges against Jane in the end. She also hoped that Jane had learned something from the whole ordeal, though she already knew her hope was for naught.

"Hey." Lisbon said as she gently nudged the couch with her knee.

The sleeping consultant yawned and stretched. His cerulean blue eyes then fluttered opened and met with the emerald ones looming above him.

"Hi Lisbon." He replied.

"So, how did you enjoy your little stint in prison?"

"Honestly, it's not as fun as it appears."

"I'm shocked." Lisbon said sarcastically. "I hope you've learned something from all of this."

"That you'll always come to my rescue?" Jane said, smiling up at her.

Lisbon just stared down at him, trying to fight a smile of her own from creeping onto her lips.

"Try again." She told him.

Jane thought for a moment and then said deviously:

"I need to get better at planting eavesdropping devices on my enemies?"

"Yeah, that's not it either." Lisbon said. "You know Jane, you are going to have to patch things up with Bosco. I mean, what happens if Bosco has to work with us on our next case?"

"I guess we'd have to learn to be friends then, huh?"

Lisbon just smiled and shook her head.

"You still owe me for getting Bosco to drop the charges and bailing your butt out of jail."

Jane popped up off of the couch.

"Can I take you to dinner?"

"Do I get dessert?" she asked sternly.

"You can have anything on the menu, my dear."

"Good because I plan on ordering the most expensive thing I can find." Lisbon told him with a smirk.

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Reviews make me happy :)


	8. Medical Leave

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.**

**_From the Radio..._**_  
Back to my regular radio station! This was a part of an explanation for a weekly giveaway that the morning show does. Once a week, you can submit your company/business/place of work to the website and if chosen, the morning show announcers will stop at your place of work and bring free coffee and doughnuts (and craziness) for all of the employees._

_"We're going to throw some pastries at you!"  
"Well, we're not going to actually throw them at you..."  
"Yeah, that'd be a waste of pastries."  
"Would be pretty funny though!"_

This story takes place after 3x15, Red Gold._  
_

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 8- Medical Leave_

With the case closed, Hightower mandated that Lisbon go on paid medical leave for the weekend to rest her sprained ankle that her blond haired consultant –indirectly- caused to happen. So, instead of hobbling around the office on crutches, Lisbon was now confined to her house for the weekend to recuperate (in other words, sleep and watch movies).

On her couch, curled up in a blanket, her bandaged ankle resting on a pillow on the coffee table in front of her, Lisbon had found some movies to watch on television tonight. As the opening credits rolled across the tv screen, Lisbon's cell phone on the coffee table began ringing. Lisbon groaned as she paused the movie and then stretched forward to grab it. There was only one person that would have such "impeccable" timing, and the caller ID confirmed her hunch. It was Patrick Jane.

Lisbon sighed and decided to answer his call (also, if she didn't, he would keep calling until she answered).

"Alright Jane, how much trouble have you gotten yourself into?" Lisbon asked instead of a greeting.

She heard snickering in the background, which meant that Jane was on speakerphone in the office.

"I am insulted Lisbon. Where on earth would you get that idea?" Jane replied.

She could tell he was smiling at the other end of the line.

"Gee, I wonder." Lisbon remarked sarcastically.

"Jane wanted to call and check up on you; see how you're doing." Van Pelt explained over the speakerphone.

"I appreciate your concern everyone, and I promise, I'm fine."

"Well, what are you up to right now, gimpy?" Jane asked.

Lisbon rolled her eyes at the nickname.

"I'm on my couch, about to watch some movies."

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Um, I had lunch a few hours ago. Why?"

"Because we never had our case closed pizza." Jane explained.

Lisbon smiled.

"I'd love some case closed pizza."

"And we'll throw some doughnuts your way too!" Rigsby exclaimed.

"Well, we're not going to actually throw them at you." Cho assured her.

"Yeah, that'd be a waste of doughnuts." Lisbon agreed.

"Would be pretty funny though." Jane stated.

"Jane?" Lisbon said.

"Hmm?"

"Stop talking and bring me my case closed pizza."

"Yes ma'am!"

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Until next time! Please R and R. Thank-you for reading :)


	9. Juvenile Detention

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.** My sister just asked what would happen if I did own it. I would be the happiest person in the world :) And I would put lots of Jisbon. Lots and lots of Jisbon...

**_From the Radio...  
_**_The station is holding a concert over the summer to celebrate it's anniversary of being on the air. So, this was a commercial that was joking about the "proper etiquette" for the concert. I don't remember exactly what the rule was, but it was something like don't eat anything that's thrown at you._

_"Hey! Who threw that?"_  
_"Who cares? I caught a nacho!"_

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 9- Juvenile Detention_

The murder of a young teacher is what led Cho and Rigsby to be visiting a school on a warm Friday afternoon.

"I am Agent Kimball Cho and this is Agent Wayne Rigsby. We're from the CBI." Cho explained to the hall monitor sitting at a desk in the front foyer of the school.

The plump lady looked up at them from behind her glasses.

"You're here to investigate the Jenkins murder, right?" she asked.

"Yes Ma'am." Rigsby replied.

"That poor thing…"she lamented. "Jenkins' sister, Mrs. O'Reilly, is filling in for him in room 215. It's a detention group, so you can head right in."

"Thank-you." Cho said as he and Rigsby went off in search of room 215…

…The room 215 door was closed when the two agents approached. Rigsby knocked and, a moment later, the classroom door was opened by a short, thin woman with glasses.

"Mrs. O'Reilly?" Cho inquired.

"Yes." The woman replied.

"I'm Agent Kimball Cho and this is Agent Wayne Rigsby." Cho said, pointing behind him at Rigsby. "We're from the CBI."

"I'm Crystal O'Reilly. Please come in." Crystal said, stepping to the side to allow Cho and Rigsby inside. "Jeremy Jenkins was my brother. He and I both taught. Right now I'm filling in for him as best as I can."

"Right. The hall monitor said as much." Rigsby agreed. "She said that you were running his detention group."

"Yes. Jeremy volunteered to help with detention so he could help the kids. The kids loved him for that." Crystal explained with a sad smile.

"How about the other teachers?" Cho asked. "How did Jeremy get along with them?"

"Fairly well." Crystal paused. "Except for the scholarship everyone in the math department was going after. The contest tends to bring out the worst in everyone and this year, Jeremy was receiving the brunt of the animosity because his project was a sure win."

"Do you have a copy of the project?" Cho asked.

"Of course." Crystal said. "I believe there's a copy in Jeremy's files. I started moving some of his personal things out so the long term sub can move in. Would you mind terribly, watching the kids while I run to my car and get the files?"

"Of course Ma'am." Rigsby assured her.

"Class," Crystal addressed the group. "This is Agent Cho and this is Agent Rigsby. Please be on your best behavior for them."

As soon as Crystal stepped out of the room, the room transformed from a classroom to a war zone. Cho and Rigsby quickly dove for cover behind Crystal's desk, seeking refuge fro the numerous objects being hurled at them.

"Hey! Who threw this?" Cho asked, holding up a sandwich.

"Hey, who cares? I caught a nacho!" Rigsby declared triumphantly, holding up his catch.

Cho stared at Rigsby's prize questioningly.

"Yeah, I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

Rigsby rotated the nacho in his hand, examining it.

"Why not? It looks edible." He commented. "Look, it even has cheese and sour cream on it."

"Pretty sure that's not sour cream." Cho retorted…

…Somehow managing to get out alive (threatening to arrest them for assault on an officer), Rigsby and Cho headed out into the parking lot, to return to their SUV.

"You know what?" Rigsby mumbled, hardly moving his lips.

"What?" Cho responded.

"That wasn't sour cream."

"Then what was it?" Cho inquired.

"Glue." Rigsby replied, pointing to his lips, which appeared to nearly be sealed together.

Cho just stared at his fellow agent.

"Told you not to eat it."

* * *

Pretty sure the kid safe-glue used in schools won't do that, but it's still funny XD.


	10. Overachiever

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters...**Nope.

**A/N:** Wow! Ten chapters! Can't believe that I have written that much of this story already. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. Here's to at least another ten chapters :)

**_From the Radio...  
_**_The usual people that I get my randomness from are the morning show DJ's. I was surprised to hear them during the afternoon last weekend. They then said that they were going to be there over the weekend too. So, joking about how committed they are led about to this conversation:_

_"We're committed!"_  
_"Whenever I'm standing in the hall, people ask me 'why are you still here?' I respond: 'committed to company excellence!.' Then they just stare at me funny or give me a dirty look and then quickly head down the hallway to go talk about me to other people."_

* * *

Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 10- Overachiever_

Lisbon yawned and rubbed her eyes. A triple homicide meant triple the paperwork. Despite the lateness of the hour, she was determined to complete the reports. Tomorrow's weather was supposed to be hot-even for a California summer-so there was absolutely no way she was going to be slaving away over that mountain of paperwork during a heat wave.

She finished a short while later. Lisbon grabbed her briefcase, closed up her office and stepped out into the hallway. She wasn't surprised to find that she was one of the last people here (besides the night security guard). She also wasn't surprised to see a light shining down from the attic stairwell as she made her way to the elevator.

Lisbon paused, turned and then headed up the stairs to the attic of the CBI, where Jane had turned the room into his own little haven. She opened the door and peeked inside. Jane was lying on his cot. She could tell he wasn't sleeping; instead he was merely "resting his eyes."

"Hi Lisbon." Jane mumbled, still resting on his cot.

"Hi Jane." Lisbon replied, coming inside the attic.

"Finally finished those reports I take it?" Jane asked.

"Yep. Finally." She confirmed. "What are you up to?"

"Catching up on some sleep."

"Didn't you get enough sleep during this last case?" Lisbon asked sarcastically.

Jane sat up and stretched. He then looked at her and smiled.

"Well, I was being honest with _you_. Whenever I'm here late, people ask me 'why are you still here?' I respond: 'committed to company excellence!' Then they just look at me funny or give me a dirty look and then quickly head down the hallway to talk about me to other people."

"Well in that case, I appreciate your honesty." Lisbon said with a laugh.

After a moment, Lisbon added:

"Do you want to grab something to eat with me?"

Jane nodded.

"I'd love to Lisbon. Being committed to company excellence definitely creates quite an appetite."

"Alright overachiever, let's go."

Jane hopped off his couch and followed Lisbon out of the attic…

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Let's try for at least ten reviews for symbolism :)


	11. Sweet Revenge

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.** The only thigs I have are a ton of papers to write for my classes and my lack of patience for the season 4 premiere...

**A/N:** Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've last posted, but I do have two more chapters of RR for everyone! I would have had a chapter posted over the summer, but I was having difficulty writing that one. I have the idea, but I never could make myself like it long enough to finish it. If you're interested in hearing about it, let me know! Who knows? I might make myself write it if there's enough demand for it (spoilers: it's a similar premise to my story, Trust Falls). But for now here are two more installments for RR...

**_From the Radio...  
_**_This one actually didn't come from the radio necessarily, but it is from a video on their website. One of the people was supposed to broadcast from inside of a random location (a port-a-potty) for an hour during a festival the radio station was visiting during the summer. Instead, he was sitting inside his air conditioned car. So, the other two announcers decided that he needed to be "taught a lesson" by "apologizing" to passerbys on the front lawn of the radio station (while sitting on a toilet in the rain). So, after all of this happened, he sought "revenge" by doing what you're about to read below. The following is based on the video from the website. (and yes, the three are all okay with doing random and embarrasing things to each other for our amusement...and theirs...)_

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Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 11- Sweet Revenge_

A young carnival performer was found murdered. The victim happened to work at a carnival that shared ties with the circuit that CBI consultant Patrick Jane had once worked with. So, based on his "expert knowledge," Jane had formulated a plan to capture the two guilty culprits.

"What makes you so sure, Jane?" Lisbon asked after Jane presented to her his foolproof plan.

"Because I grew up in the carnival Lisbon. It's my element." Jane explained confidently. "I know these kinds of people."

"I'm not so sure. Chris and Jason looked as guilty as sin when we first arrived, and they look even worse every time we stop by. If we keep up the pressure, I'll bet they'll just confess." Lisbon replied.

"Bet what?"

Lisbon looked at him questioningly.

"What are you talking about?"

Jane moved from Lisbon's office couch to one of the visitor's chairs in front of her desk.

"You said you'd bet Chris and Jason would confess to Jaime's murder."

"It was just an expression—"

Jane cut off Lisbon's response before she could finish:

"How about this: we wait twenty-four hours. If Chris and Jason confess, you win the bet. If not, we execute my plan and I win bet."

"What do I get if I win the bet?" Lisbon asked curiously.

Jane thought for a moment.

"I have the perfect idea…" he told her…

…At twenty-three hours and fifty minutes, Chris and Jason arrived at the CBI headquarters. They claimed that the pressure was too much; they couldn't take it anymore and that they wanted to confess to the murder of their friend Jaime. After Lisbon instructed Cho and Rigsby to take the guilty parties to a holding cell, she looked at Jane and said with a smile:

"I win."

Externally, Jane smiled and bowed to her in defeat. Internally, Jane was kicking himself. He never actually thought what would happen if Lisbon did win. In fact, he only made the bet because he was positive he'd win. He was a Mentalist; he wasn't supposed to be wrong.

There was no way of getting out of it either. Oh no. No way was Lisbon going to let him get away. Jane sighed as he retreated to the safety of his couch to ponder his predicament. Tomorrow would certainly be interesting…

…Even though the team was off the next day, Lisbon instructed everyone to come to the CBI anyway for a "surprise." She eluded that it didn't involve working, so dress casual, but beyond that, the team was completely in the dark about what was about to happen.

The agents arrived to see a casually dressed Lisbon standing next to Jane, who was wearing a t-shirt and what seemed to be swim trunks. In front of Lisbon was a sack of baseballs.

"Hey Boss." The team said in unison.

"Hello everyone." She replied. "I know you're all wondering what this is about."

Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt nodded.

"Well, two days ago, Jane made a bet with me. He wanted to come up with this extravagant plan to catch Jason and Chris for Jaime's murder. However, I thought that they would just confess because of a guilty conscience. So, Jane said that we'll give Jason and Chris twenty-four hours to confess and, if they didn't, I would lose the bet and we would enact Jane's plan." Lisbon informed them

"What happens to the loser?" Van Pelt asked.

Lisbon smiled and replied:

"You see, that's the beauty of it. The loser would be forced to do this."

Lisbon escorted everyone to the back parking lot where a dunk tank was set up.

"The carnival let Jane borrow it." Lisbon told them. "If only he knew _he_ would be the one in the tank…"

Jane gave Lisbon a sarcastic smile in response to her comment. She just gestured toward the dunk tank.

"After you."

As Jane climbed up onto the seat of the dunk tank, Lisbon distributed baseballs to each member of the team, so they could all enjoy Jane's punishment in the dunk tank. Lisbon, however, would be the first one to throw. Her first shot went left, but ever so slightly.

"You're supposed to hit the target Lisbon!" Jane taunted, as with tradition with dunk tanks.

"Oh, I know." Lisbon replied with a smirk.

She threw her second baseball at the target, slightly to the right. Jane then understood why he hadn't hit the water yet. She was toying with him! Making him nervous with anticipation for the moment that she would knock him into the water! Before he could call her on it, Lisbon threw her final baseball and _DING!_ Jane hit the icy waters below.

Lisbon just smiled in response to the sight and to the growing crowd of cheering CBI agents that had gathered.

_Ah, sweet revenge…_

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**Reviews are most appreciated! **You can review the chapter, or tell me about your anticipation for season 4! Or you can even try and pursuade me to write that chapter from over the summer!


	12. The Thought That Counts

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters.** You would think I would by now, but sadly no...

**_From the Radio...  
_**_This one really doesn't have any dialogue (also because I can't write down this stuff while I'm driving). The basis of this one comes from a tournament that the station is holding. They are having some people compete against each other for a spot as an intern for the radio station. So, the morning show announcers presented them with a challenge to get them the specific foods that they requested. One of the announcers asked for something from a fast food restaurant, which, for some reason, cannot be served until after eleven in the morning. Since the morning show takes place from 6-10 in the morning, obviously, it's difficult to obtain it. So, one intern was quite creative and came up with this solution to the problem. It's the solution that Jane uses to Lisbon's challenge. Enjoy! _

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Radio Randomness  
_Chapter 12- The Thought That Counts_

The recent murder of an old, well respected rancher is what brought Lisbon and company hours out of the city and into farm country. This particular part of farm country was tiny, remote, close knit and not as…"high tech" (for lack of a better term) as the team was used to. Currently, they were figuring out sleeping arrangements for the two vacant rooms available at a run-down, and mostly empty (there is no one here and yet there are only two room available? The team was still working on that logic), motel. Once that was finished, the team decided to grab something to eat-before any place that served food closed-and then return to the motel for the night so that they could start their investigation fresh in the morning…

…After a few days of investigating, the team felt that they finally had a suspect worth pursuing. Since the stakeout duty would surely be a long and tedious task, Lisbon already knew that no one would volunteer for it. So, she came up with an idea to get her volunteers.

"Okay. We are going to be doing a stakeout tonight. And before we start playing rock-paper-scissors to see who draws the short stick, I have a plan to see who gets the stakeout tonight." Lisbon began. "I have been dying for a good cup of coffee. I'm sending everyone on a scavenger hunt. Within one hour, whoever can bring me the best tasting coffee will not have to stakeout Al on his dairy farm tonight. Sound good?"

The three agents all immediately jumped up and rushed out of the room in search of Lisbon's request. After they had left, Lisbon walked over to Jane, who had been snoozing on the couch during her challenge. She tapped him on the forehead and Jane wrinkled his nose in response.

"Hey, unless you want stakeout duty, that includes you, Sleeping Beauty."

Jane sat up and frowned at her.

"Really, Lisbon. Are you really going to make me go on stakeout duty if I don't bring you back your bounty?"

Lisbon folded her arms across her chest.

"Do you really want to spend the rest of this investigation with me coffee deprived?"

Jane considered the wrath of Lisbon versus a food finding road trip.

"Be back soon!" he called as he got off the couch and headed toward the room door.

Lisbon smiled to herself as she curled up on the bed of the now empty bedroom. When it comes to finding a way to not have to do stakeout duty, she knew her team would not disappoint…

…As the one hour contest deadline approached, Van Pelt, Rigsby, and Cho all returned to the motel room.

"Alright, what do we have?" Lisbon asked her returning hunters.

Because all of the restaurants and stores had closed down roughly a half an hour ago, the team had very little to show for their scavenger hunt. Cho, though, had managed to come through and presented Lisbon with a good cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate cake (which he somehow managed to sweet talk the waitress at the diner into giving him). That was the winner, hands down.

"Since Jane has apparently forfeited the competition, Rigsby and Van Pelt, you're on stakeout duty." Lisbon stated.

A few minutes later, as Van Pelt and Rigsby were packing for stakeout duty, Jane strolled in.

"Nice of you to show up." Lisbon commented.

"Yeah, I thought so too." Jane replied.

"So, did you bring me anything? Or are you officially admitting defeat?"

Jane handed Lisbon a steaming cup of coffee.

"Anything else?"

Jane rummaged around in his pocket before pulling out a piece of paper.

"I searched everywhere for that." Jane told her.

Lisbon examined the piece of paper. It was a picture of her favorite kind of cake.

"A picture?" She asked.

"You never said it couldn't be a picture." Jane pointed out.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and tried not to smile.

"I suppose you're right. Rigsby, Van Pelt, you're still on stakeout duty because Jane brought me my favorite cake." She said.

"But it's paper." Rigsby and Van Pelt complained.

"Yes, but it's my favorite cake and I technically never said it couldn't be paper. So, in this case, it's the thought that counts."

Van Pelt and Rigsby headed out to the SUV and Cho headed to the second motel room to actually get some decent sleep, leaving Jane and Lisbon alone.

" '_You never said it couldn't be a picture.'_." Lisbon repeated, imitating Jane.

Jane nodded and smiled brightly.

"But like you said, it's the thought that counts!" He stated. "And it made you smile, Grumpy. For me, that's a victory."

Lisbon crumpled up the paper and threw it at Jane. She laughed as Jane attempted to dodge it, but ended up getting hit by it anyway.

_Oh, that man..._

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Please R & R!


	13. Knock Knock!

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own The Mentalist or any of its characters. The conversation is courtesy of The Biggs and Barr Show**

**A/N:** I realized that's it's been over a year since I last updated this story. I wasn't sure if I was going to continue this, but with all of the crazy things that go on at the station I listen to, how could I not? Anyway, here is the long-awaited new chapter of Radio Randomness :)

_The Conversation:_

_The conversation involved bad knock knock jokes. Eventually, one was told that caused one of the DJ's to spit out the coffee he was drinking on himself.  
_

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**Radio**** Randomness**

_Knock Knock!_

Teresa Lisbon was in a bad mood. The reason? Why, Patrick Jane of course. The consultant had managed to aggravate a good deal of people in their current case, all of whom decided to take out their annoyance on Lisbon. And it wasn't even lunchtime yet; plenty of time for Jane to get in even more trouble…

…Jane stared at Lisbon's buttoned up office from the safety of his couch and frowned. Lisbon was mad with him. Sure, she had every right to be, but he didn't want her to stay mad at him. So, Jane whipped up a fresh, steaming cup of coffee-a peace offering-and made his way toward Lisbon's office.

"Knock knock!" Jane said cheerily as he pushed the door open and strolled into Lisbon's office.

"Go away." Lisbon replied without taking her eyes off of the paperwork on her desk.

"You're supposed to say who's there! You don't get how this works, do you?" Jane corrected her. "Oh, and I brought you a present."

Jane placed the cup of coffee on Lisbon's desk and looked at her expectantly. Lisbon's eyes drifted toward the cup of coffee. After a moment or two, Lisbon finally grabbed the Styrofoam cup and began drinking the coffee inside. Jane smiled.

"Stop smiling." Lisbon pouted. "I'm still mad at you."

"I figured you still would be." Jane said. "But never fear, Lisbon dear, I have a great plan to cheer you up."

Lisbon leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest, signaling to Jane that she was ready for his attempt.

"Okay, ready?" Jane began happily. "Knock knock."

"A knock knock joke?" Lisbon questioned. "Really? That's your plan?"

"Just play along, woman."

Lisbon rolled her eyes in response.

"Fine." She said. "Who's there?"

"Doris."

"Doris who?"

"Doris is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

Lisbon just stared at Jane as he stood smiling at her. If there were crickets in the building, they would be chirping right now.

"Alright, let's try another one," Jane continued, undeterred by Lisbon's lack of laughter. "How about this? Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Aaron."

"Aaron who?"

"Aaron on the side of caution!"

"If only you did that earlier," Lisbon retorted.

"These are the jokes, woman." Jane responded to Lisbon's comment. "Fine. I have one more. Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting cow-"

Jane shouted "moo" before Lisbon could finish her response. He shouted it so loudly, in fact, that Lisbon jumped in surprise and spilled coffee on herself and her desk.

"Jane!" She shrieked.

"Did you forget about this morning?" Jane asked her.

"Yes because I'm covered in coffee!"

"Well, then my plan worked!" Jane said triumphantly. "Bye!"

Jane then left Lisbon's office as quickly as he entered. Lisbon just shook her head, annoyed. She just couldn't fight the smile that crept on to her lips…

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I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. I have roughly three more ideas that I could do, but I'm not sure if I'm going to continue beyond that. Let me know what you think!


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